ADHD can make it incredibly challenging to focus, stay on task, and—to be honest—keep the house from looking like a tornado just swept through it. Now imagine three family members with ADHD and multiply that chaos. You’ll find random objects in corners, never-ending piles of doodles and toys, and a “floordrobe” (a closet system my family swears by). Yep, that’s my reality.
So, how do I manage it without completely burning out? After navigating this for years, here are my top 10 strategies for keeping our home clean and organized—at least 80% of the time.
1. Control Issues—Let Them Go!
Surprise! I bet you didn’t expect this to be the first tip. I developed control issues from childhood uncertainty, leading to feelings of overwhelm every time I saw a mess. Me + Mess = Bossy Lunatic. But, if you want your ADHD family to help, you’ve got to let go of that control. Unrealistic expectations will only lead to disappointment, and constant reminders will trigger an oppositional defiance strike from your ADHD crew. Trust me, you don’t want that. If you’re holding onto control issues, start working on letting them go—before they sink the ship.
2. The Bedtime Pick-Up
Before bed each night, we spend 15 minutes tidying the main living areas. The kids return their belongings to their rooms, dishes get loaded, counters wiped down, couch blankets folded, and pillows fluffed. The result? A clean space to wake up to, and everyone is happier (especially me). Plus, it gets everyone in the habit of pitching in.
3. Set Kitchen "Operating Hours"
This one’s a personal time-saver. After dinner, the kitchen is open for one last snack, and by 7:30 p.m., it’s closed. This cuts down on late-night dirty dishes and messy counters, and bonus—helps everyone sleep better. Because we all know that late-night snacking doesn’t lead to sweet dreams!
4. Embrace the Bin System
Each family member gets a bin. Whatever’s left around the house? Into the bin it goes, and they’re responsible for sorting through it later. This cuts down on clutter in the main living areas, makes tidying quicker, and adds a touch of fun. It's like a scavenger hunt...except you're hunting for socks and LEGOs.
5. Use Visual Reminders
Picture chore charts, whiteboards, and colorful calendars are your reinforcements. My ADHD family responds to visuals way better than verbal reminders. Use bright colors and place them where they’ll be seen (bathrooms, living room, etc.). Break tasks into bite-sized pieces and, if necessary, take a photo of what a clean room should look like. Bonus points for allowing them to check off tasks—because checking things off gives them a nice hit of dopamine!
6. Timers for the Win
Timers are an ADHD loophole. If your kids (or partner!) are dragging their feet on chores, schoolwork, or getting ready, set a timer and challenge them to beat it. There’s no need for a fancy timer—your microwave’s built-in one will do just fine. The race against the clock turns mundane tasks into a game, making it surprisingly effective.
7. Open Shelving: Love It or Hate It
Personally, open shelves overwhelm me, but for my ADHD family, they’re a lifesaver. The “out of sight, out of mind” struggle is real! Having things visible makes it easier for them to remember where things go and to actually put them back. There have even been times when my boys randomly organized the shelves! Wonders never cease.
8. Set Chore Times, but Stay Flexible
Routine is crucial, but flexibility helps. Spread chores throughout the day—when the kids are between activities or taking a break, have them complete a quick chore. My kids have 3-5 daily family chores and splitting them up makes them more manageable. Chores before TV or video games are a rule—because once those screens are on, good luck getting anything done!
9. Routine, Routine, Routine!
Here’s the golden rule for ADHD families: routine. My kids thrive on it. We have a morning, homeschool, and evening routine, which keeps the house calm and the chaos in check. Routines distribute the workload and allow you to maintain a consistent schedule, even on tough days.
10. Reduce Decision Fatigue
Managing an ADHD household requires a lot of decision-making, which can lead to burnout. That’s why I swear by a yearly cleaning planner. It takes the guesswork out of daily cleaning tasks, ensuring I don’t fall behind. The Confident Mom planner has saved me time and helped me stay consistent. She did all the planning, and I just followed along. It’s one less thing to worry about, and I couldn’t recommend it more!
Having an ADHD family doesn’t mean living in constant chaos. With the right systems in place, you can create a home that’s (mostly) clean and organized. It takes effort, consistency, and some creativity, but it’s absolutely doable! And when things get tough remember—be flexible! You’re not alone in this!
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