How I Helped my ADHD Teen with Anxiety and Worry

Anxiety is a common challenge for teens, but it’s even more prevalent among those diagnosed with ADHD. A recent survey by ADDitude revealed “that 67% of teens with ADHD have been diagnosed with anxiety, and 46% have been diagnosed with depression” (Rodgers, 2024).

As a mom of two ADHD kids, I used to think I could shield them from anxiety by being a stay-at-home mom—if I was always there, they wouldn’t worry, right? Oh, how wrong I was! My son experienced his first bout of anxiety at the tender age of 7, caused by a tough bullying episode the year before. His anxiety only increased from there.

The Storm of Anxiety Hits

Kids with ADHD are emotional sponges, absorbing empathy, rejection, and worry with an intensity that’s sometimes hard to grasp. Throw puberty into the mix, and it’s like a tornado of anxiety waiting to happen.

The tornado hit when my son entered sixth grade. He began internalizing everything. Making friends became a struggle, and his emotional outbursts—triggered by anxiety—made him an easy target for bullies. To make matters worse, his grades started slipping, adding the fear of failure to the mix. All these factors led him to make poor choices, like trying to fit in by becoming something he wasn’t.

In a misguided effort to be popular, he looked up to bullies as role models. He lied, cheated, and manipulated to win acceptance in hopes that it would reduce his anxiety. Unfortunately, this only fueled it and caused even more tension at home.

Fast forward to today, and he’s a completely different kid. We were able to pinpoint the triggers causing the anxiety which helped us implement new parenting strategies to teach him he doesn’t need to compromise who he is to combat his anxiety. These strategies focused on open communication, emotional awareness, and healthy coping strategies; he now manages his anxiety far better.

My Top 5 Tips for Parenting an ADHD Teen with Anxiety

Here’s what helped my son embrace his true self and combat anxiety, and I hope it can help you too:

1. Create a Positive Connection

Building a positive connection with your ADHD teen is the first step. When they trust you, they’ll feel safer, which reduces anxiety. Feeling understood and supported will encourage them to be open about their struggles. It also increases the chances they’ll seek professional help if needed.

2. Establish Calming Routines

Teens with ADHD often thrive on structure. Create routines that reduce daily chaos and friction. Use planners, timers, visual reminders, and even automated alerts to help them stay organized and worry less. Consistent routines can bring a much-needed sense of calm.

3. Teach Emotional Regulation Strategies

Model calm behavior in stressful situations. If you’re freaking out, they’re likely to follow suit! Instead, demonstrate healthy coping strategies and help them identify specific emotions. Instead of saying “I’m mad,” encourage them to dig deeper. Are they frustrated, disappointed, or overstimulated? Identifying the triggers behind these emotions is key to managing them as well.

4. Embrace Healthy Distractions

Sometimes the best thing your teen can do is step away from their stressors. Encourage breaks and fun activities—whether it’s a hobby, physical exercise, or a creative outlet. A healthy distraction works wonders for anxious teens and helps them reset their emotional state.

5. It’s Okay to Ask for Help

If your teen’s anxiety becomes overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek professional support. A therapist or counselor experienced with ADHD can provide additional tools and resources to help them manage their anxiety effectively.

BONUS TIP: Say Goodbye to Social Media and Smartphones

This one’s a game-changer! Studies show that social media use can increase anxiety, depression, and sleep issues—especially for girls with ADHD. A 2023 Pew Research Center survey found that “44% of teens report feeling more anxious after using their smartphones” (Anderson, Faverio, & Park, 2024). An increase in irritability, apathy, withdrawal, and even aggression was also reported (Rodgers, 2024).

Take those phones away and watch your teen’s entire demeanor improve!

Take It One Step at a Time

Helping your ADHD teen navigate anxiety is a journey—and sometimes it feels like a long one. But with patience, open communication, and the right strategies, you can guide them through it.

If any of these tips resonate with you, I’d love to hear your story!

Feel free to email me at theadhdfam@gmail.com or subscribe to our newsletter for more tips and stories on raising ADHD kids.

References

Anderson, M., Faverio, M. & Park, E. How Teens and Parents Approach Screen Time. Pew Research Center. (2024, March 11). https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2024/03/11/how-teens-and-parents-approach-screen-time/

Rodgers, L.R. The mental health crisis is particularly acute for adolescent females with ADHD, who report abnormally high levels of anxiety (72%) and depression (44%). (2024, April 8). ADDitude. https://www.additudemag.com/mental-health-crisis-youth-girls-adhd/#:~:text=But%20in%20the%20last%20two,anxiety%20and%2046%25%20with%20depression.

Disclaimer: The information provided in this blog is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. While we strive to provide accurate and up-to-date content, this blog is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider regarding any medical concerns or conditions you or your child may have. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice based on something you have read in this blog. Reliance on any information provided here is solely of your own free will.